Reading about cheating on the web.

I'm always online researching for my book I found some interesting articles so I thought I would share. The articles are not post in their entirety a link at the bottom of each one will take you to the full article.

Why Do Men Cheat? by Elaine Sihera

Obviously, women cheat too. But as the question came from a woman, only men will be dealt with here.

Men cheat for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is simply because they can do it, or the opportunity is available. But cheating is done primarily by three types of men: those with low self esteem, those who are unhappy at home and those who are afraid of commitment and are seeking 'fun'.
Low Self Esteem Overall, cheating is done by men with mixed, conflicting or weak values. They are not firm in their commitment, in their identity of who they wish to be, neither are they sure of what they really want in life. They tend to have low self-esteem and a lack of trust in others. No matter how 'good' or faithful the partner is, having one woman is not enough. There is always someone better outside. Perhaps being deprived of expressive love when they were younger, particularly from their mothers, there is always a doubt in their minds as to how worthy they are to women. Add to that, the competitive nature of their world, where they are always trying to impress their peers, and the usual answer is also to try to impress as many women as they can to uplift their feelings of self worth - regardless of the quality of life at home. But that merely causes heartache for the chosen women, while reinforcing the men's low self-esteem as 'bad' guys or 'bastards' in a never-ending circle...........

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Do-Men-Cheat?&id=470333

This article comes from WikiAnswers:

Why Men Cheat?

First of all, men don't always cheat, but when they do, here are some possible reasons:

1. They are not ready to have commitments.
2. They no longer feel satisfied/stimulated in their current relationship and are too cowardly to end the relationship.
3. They are concerned about their financial/living situation if they end the relationship, but do not feel fulfilled in it.
4. They like various sex partners.
5. They crave the initial excitement and illicitness of a "secret" affair.
6. They need to feel desired and their partner does not fulfill that need.
7. Men are single-minded and don't think about the consequences of their actions.
8. Some men cheat because they think they can get by with it.
9. Some cheat because they don't take their relationships seriously.
10. Guys cheat because many of them increasingly feel powerless in a society that is giving women more rights & powers in the domestic & public spheres.
11. Men stray outside of long-term relationships to remember what it was like to be desirable and free. "Schedules" and routine destroy self image.
12. The woman's sex drive isn't what it was when you first got married.
13. Having sex with more than one woman is an ego boost for those with low self-esteem.
14. Men cheat because they are bored in their current relationships.
15. The man perceives that the partner is bored with or no longer interested in sex.
16. Lack of or poor communication with the spouse/girlfriend can lead a man to cheat.
17. Other people are something new and different.
18. You have no old baggage with someone new
19. Maybe they want something with ''no strings''
20. Different people have different likes and dislikes
21. Their spouses might not be interested in doing the sexual things the men want to try out (e.g. oral, greek, 3-ways, etc.) or even afraid or morally against such kinks.

More comments about men who cheat.
Try not to forget, both genders cheat. However the crazy women who get hung up on men cheating write about it on websites, the CLEVER CRAZY women simply call an abroad talking clock from his mobile and run up $5000 bill.

I've found that in the case of both men and women, it's either one of two things, 1) a mistake, something that happened in a moment of weakness, or 2) they are unhappy in their current relationship and either want out and have decided to take the easy way out, or are having a hard time communicating about the problem with their spouse.

Another thing I've found is that I think relationships create a sense of safety and that people who cheat feel like they can now "date" from a point of strenght. When your single I think alot of people spend most of their dating time trying to find someone just to have someone their and so they choose a mate who is safe just because being single is lonely to some people, and they feel the need to hurry and get it over with and find someone ASAP. Once in a relationship though they can kind of date chosing people they might be more physically attracted to or feel is their ideal and can do so with out caring too much about rejection since they already have someone to go home to. I really think this happens in alot of cases, and I think if people were more honest with themselves and about what they want out of life then alot of cheating would end........

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_men_always_cheat

I will post more articles as I find them.

Regret.........

I interviewed a 45 year old man, whom I would have never guessed has cheated on he wife. When I asked him if he did not mind doing an interview he said, "No not at all I'll be online for a while I'm planning a romantic day for my wife for her birthday, I just got to find the perfect gift to show her how much I love her." His response to that made me think that he would never cheat, but never judge a book by its cover.

LWilson: Wow, you sound like the perfect husband. Have you always done that on her birthday?
Chris: Yes, we both do it. I always try to beat what I did last year, because each year my love for her gets stronger and stronger.

LWilson: Awww that is soo sweet! Your wife is a lucky woman.
Chris: Nah, I'm the lucky one.

LWilson: Ok, to the question. Now I already know the answer to this question but I will ask anyway. Have you cheated on your wife or a girlfriend in the past?
Chris: Yes, I have cheated on my wife.

LWilson: The wife you're married to now?????
Chris: Yes, she is my only wife. We have been married since I was 19 years old.

LWilson: Wow, you sound so in love. Why did you cheat on your wife?
Chris: Don't get me wrong I'm madly in love as you women call it, but love has nothing to do with cheating. Women always want to attach love to it and that's not it at all.

LWilson: So what was it?
Chris: My wife and I got married because she was pregnant. We were both 19 years old, she was my first and for a long time my only. I guess I cheated because I regret getting married so early.

LWilson: So you didn't get a chance to sew your oats as they call it.
Chris: Something like that. After about 15 years of marriage I just couldn't shake the curiosity I wanted to know what other women were like. So I talked to my wife about a 3 some and she freaked.

LWilson: How bad did she freak?
Chris: She cursed me out. She acted like I asked her to fuck a room full of men. She screamed, cried, and she asked me why, she asked me if she hasn't been a good wife, if she wasn't enough to satisfy me.

LWilson: Did you try to explain why you felt this way or asked her if she felt the same.
Chris: I tried to explain it to her several times and she always went into a crying fit. I suggested an escort service or maybe we pick out someone at the club. She always shunned the idea.

LWilson: So when did you decide to just cheat.
Chris: My boys talked me into going on the trip to Vegas with them and they hired a stripper to come dance in the room for one of the guy's birthday. After she finished I was in the kitchen and she came in and we started talking. She was a really cool girl we went in my bedroom to talk some more, I think we talked for about 3 or 4 hours then she kissed me. I freaked out I told her I didn't have money like that. She bust out laughing and told me she is not like that she only wanted just me. I thought she was full of shit until she started sucking my dick.

LWilson: So you didn't stop her?
Chris: Hell no, She was doing some new shit! I love my wife but she not the best head giver in the world how could she be I'm the only one she has ever done that to.

LWilson: As far as you know you're the only one.
Chris: What do you mean?

LWilson: If you're cheating she could be too. Women cheat just as much as men or at least that's what statistics say.
Chris: Nah, she isn't the type to cheat.

LWilson: LOL, that's the same thing I thought about you.
Chris: Yeah, I guess so.

LWilson: So is that all, you got some head?
Chris: Nah, we hung out the whole two weeks. We had sex every night. It was something new, something different.

LWilson: Ya'll hung out?
Chris: Yeah she showed us all the hot spots and hooked my boys up with some of her friends we just had fun. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

LWilson: So was that the only time you cheated?
Chris: No, I cheated a few more times and I may cheat a little more.

LWilson: So why do you continue to cheat if your so in love with your wife.
Chris: So times I regret that fact that I love her. All my friends have these wild stories about sex with all these different girls, yes I know 90% of them are fabrications but some of them are true. I would love to have some wild college stories. I went to class in college then went home to my wife and baby. I didn't get to join a fraternity. I didn't get to stay out all night parting. I got a shit load of sleepless nights with a baby and bills screaming at me.

LWilson: So you blame your wife?
Chris: No, I don't blame her for having my baby, I didn't protect myself or her for that matter. If I didn't want a baby I should have used a condom. However, I do blame her for the way I feel now. I tried to come to her several times, which is way more then most men can say. She turned her back on me so what else was I suppose to do?

LWilson: Do you feel if she would have tried to understand that you would have never cheated?
Chris: Women always say that they can handle anything just talk to me. When men come out and say what's up women act like you stabbed them in the back. My wife acts like her pussy is the golden pussy and I shouldn't want or lust after any other pussy. I think if she would have been more open to the idea or at least talk to me I wouldn't be cheating now. I would love for her to be the leading role in my wild sex stories, but she turned down the job.


To be continued........