I recently did an interview with a very cool man I met online. He emailed me and asked if he could participate. This was an interview that I had to post immediately. I was absolutely floored by this interview.
LWilson: Why do you think men cheat?
Lance: Men cheat for a number of reasons. Boredom, sex, money, peers, there isn't just one reason for it to be honest. Women put to much emotion into the whole cheating thing. Women want one simple answer and there is no one answer.
LWilson: What do you mean by to much emotion?
Lance: Well, first women always think there is something wrong with them when their man cheats. It could be that he is just a cheater or he slipped up. When a man gets a woman other women start throwing pussy off the buildings. If you have a fight with your girl and pussy is over here smiling with no problems, sometimes men get weak. Sex is sex. If he has sex with her that doesn't mean he loves her. Sex is just physical to men. Women are the ones that put emotions on every sexual encounter.
LWilson: So, have you cheated before on your wife?
Lance: Yes and no, my situation is a little different or a little more complicated I should say.
LWilson: What do you mean yes and no either you cheated or you didn't, right?
Lance: Well, it's hard to explain. I like to have anal sex, but I'm not gay.
LWilson: So, you’re bisexual?
Lance: No, I'm not bisexual. Being bisexual to me is when you could have a relationship with a man or a woman, that's not me. I just like the sex part of it. I don't have relationship with any men I just have sex and never see them again. All of the men as far as I know are just like me.
LWilson: So, you cheat on your wife with other men and you don't really see that as cheating?
Lance: Well, I see it as she wouldn't want to know or participate so I do my thing every now and then. I mean how many women you know would be open to something like that. Every woman says they want their husband or boyfriends to be open to them, but when it comes down to telling them something like this they freak out.
LWilson: Are you afraid she is going to think that you’re gay?
Lance: Yes, that's my biggest fear. I mean it's not like I go to some man's house and we are touching, kissing, grinning or make love for that matter.
LWilson: Well, what are you doing?
Lance: Look, it's like I get there and we go straight to sex. There is no convo, there is no four-play, and we just get to the point. At the end I don't even say good bye.
LWilson: So you’re saying that you would do this with your wife if she was cool with it?
Lance: Yes, I would love to share this with her. She is my best friend and this is the only thing she doesn't know. It's not like I can bring home a strap on and be like baby can you fuck me. She would flip!
LWilson: I have heard of men liking their prostate massaged, why not start with that first?
Lance: Because I tried to be open with other girlfriends before us and it just blew up in my face. If you mention anything to do with your butt they freak out. Exspecially after the book D.L put out about the down low.
LWilson: Yes I have that book, but I have never had the chance to finish reading it. If I recall right he talked about what your doing now in the beginning of the book and how he didn't give his wife a choice to say yes or no.
Lance: Yes, your right he did talk about that in the beginning of the book. Although he didn't come forth with it because he wanted to, his wife caught him. If she never caught him he would still be cheating on her til this day. I believe he was bisexual. I think he was having relationships with the men he encountered. I don’t do that at all.
LWilson: So what do you think is going to happen if you get caught?
Lance: I won't get caught. I'm always 100% careful on what I do and how I do it. My wife and my kids would be destroyed if they found out about it. I love my wife. I know you hear that a lot, but I really do want her to be apart of this. I just can't lose her. I need her, she is everything. I only do this like once every two months. I'm not leading a second life with a boyfriend. I just love her I don't want her to look at me like I'm not a man, like I'm not her husband.
LWilson: It sounds like you really love her, so how do you continue to lie to her?
Lance: To be honest I never put myself in the situation where I have to lie.
LWilson: How long have you been doing this?
Lance: 2 years
LWilson: How long have you been married?
Lance: 15 years
LWilson: What made you start?
Lance: I was always into it. I had a girlfriend of mine introduce me to it when I was about 22. She started with rubbing, which lead to licking, sticking her finger in it, and using a dildo.
LWilson: Wow! Not to get off subject, but if you can't talk to your wife about it, why are you talking to me?
Lance: Honestly, you don't know me, can't see me, you don't even know if I'm using my real name. Not to mention my IP address is registered under false info. I told you I'm 100% careful. Also I just need to get it off my chest. I needed a release.
LWilson: Ok. How did you start with men?
Lance: One day I was online and saw a yahoo chat room called straight men looking for anal sex. I went to the chat room and talk to a girl about meeting up to do this. We where in the room she started licking on me and playing with it then she told me she had a penis. I was horrified I wanted to run out the room but I had too many drinks to even think about driving. I just start yelling and freaking out. To be honest I'm not even sure how we started having sex but I calmed down and just let her do it.
LWilson: You just went from yelling to having sex?
Lance: I know it seems like I'm lying but that's what happened. I felt relieved that I wasn't leaving my family for some woman. I felt like I wasn't cheating.
LWilson: Why not cheat with women if you not gay? If you can get a female to do a dog on the internet I'm sure you can find a woman to help you out.
Lance: Men are easier because they don't put emotions with sex. Women get emotionally attached; they want you to leave your wife and family for them.
LWilson: So you feel because you cheat with men you’re not cheating on your wife?
Lance: Yes and no. I know I'm cheating on my wife, but I feel less guilty about the act.
LWilson: How do you think this is going to end?
Lance: I'm not sure, I probably will just stop and never say anything about it.
LWilson: Are you going to talk to you wife about your sexual desire? That is the root of why you're cheating right?
Lance: Let me ask you a question. What if your husband told you he liked anal sex or stimulation?
LWilson: Honestly I would be shocked. I would want to freak out, but if he told he was having trouble coming to me about it I wouldn't want to alienate him. I would try to come to a happy medium. I would think he wouldn't just come out and say I want you to put this in my ass and like it.(chuckling to myself) I'm sure he would try to make it something small at first and if I'm cool with it go further. But that is how I would like to think I would take it, I'm not sure.
Lance: How would you take it if he told you he was having sex with men?
LWilson: I'd cry then anger and confusion would probably overwhelm me. I would probably go over our lives together and try to see if I missed any hints he might have given me to say he was gay.
Lance: Would you leave him?
LWilson: My first answer would be yes, but I don't know. That would be hard as hell to get over.
LWilson: So are you going to talk to her?
Lance: No, this will go to my grave.
This interview goes much deeper than just this. I truly was left in shock. When I started this I never thought about this aspect of cheating. This seemed like something off of a movie or soap oprea. I know people are going to post things about his sexuality, but that is not what this interview was about. It was about getting to why men cheat and nothing more.
